Chaela Eskelson, LMFT
Connecting Couples Therapy
Attachment Based Couples Therapy
Offices in Marin and Sonoma Counties
Regain the spark, depth, and intimacy your love relationship deserves!
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Change occurs in therapy through a "Corrective emotional experience."
-Frank
I'm Chaela Eskelson, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I work systemically and experientially, using attachment theory as the basis of how I facilitate increased connection between family members. My work is primarily influenced by Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT), Stan Tatkin, PsyD (PACT), and Dr. Gordon Neufeld. 

My style is present and empathetic. I care deeply for each client that I work with and I honor each person's story, both the strengths and challenges. From a place of compassion I tune in to the experience of my clients and I help them access somatic experiences that the body is holding as well as confront learned ways of defending that are no longer working. Prioritizing a strong therapeutic relationship with my clients, I walk the line between lovingly drawing out feelings, fears, and somatic experiences in the body that need healing, and gently confronting defenses and reactions that are no longer serving.  I help clients address what is holding them back from potential growth and intimacy. I deeply see my clients for who they are, and I call them to greater capacity both within themselves and within their relationship. I do this safely and through modeling an authentic relationship with clients in the room.

Individuals are all part of a larger system, where their fears and vulnerabilities are
bumped and bruised by those around them, most specifically by those closest to 
them. Where needs are unmet and a relationship is not secure, negative cycles 
can begin to dominate the relationship. When I work with couples, I work actively 
in the moment, helping you move towards a more secure attachment style with 
your partner and encouraging you to take the risks that you are ready for.  Since
most wounds are created in relationship, they are best healed in relationship as
well.  This is why I believe in couples therapy as an excellent vehicle for both 
couple as well as individual growth.

Most couples, by the time they enter into therapy, have become so disconnected 
that partners are stuck in opposing and polarized roles.   Conflicting ideas of who 
needs to change and how things aren't working mix with hurt and resentment to 
create a poisonous cocktail that keeps distance the only safe thing to depend on.  
You really can find the path back to being loving and connected!  

I help you navigate an increase in safety and trust, which in turn leads to the 
kind of honest, vulnerable, intimate and connected relationship you are capable 
of.  I see connection as the core and essence of human existence and the thing 
we all crave and need for survival, from birth through death.  When the 
attachment of a primary ​love relationship is not currently strong, it's a set up for 
all kinds of triggers, fears, and unmet needs.  By addressing the root of the 
problem, and not getting caught up in the symptoms (the he said, she said 
details) you can finally have the kind of relationship you have always wanted.

The majority of my work is with couples who are parents.  Whether you are
newly married, new parents, or separated and wanting to successfully
co-parent or blend families with a new partner, transitions are ripe opportunities 
for new, vibrant experiences and growth.

License #LMFT98110
Has your marriage turned into a passionless, co-parenting, roommate relationship?  

Are you:
  •  feeling bored, isolated, or frustrated with your partner?

  • dealing with the aftermath of infidelity? 

  • stuck in a cycle of alternating hope, resentment and hurt?  

  • frustrated with the lack of sex and intimacy in your marriage?

  • considering divorce?
I'd like to help you save and dramatically improve your relationship.
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