I'm Chaela Eskelson, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I work systemically and experientially, using attachment theory as the basis of how I facilitate increased connection between family members. My work is primarily influenced by Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT), Stan Tatkin, PsyD (PACT), and Dr. Gordon Neufeld.
Individuals are all part of a larger system, where their fears and vulnerabilities are bumped and bruised by those around them, most specifically by those closest to them. Where needs are unmet and a relationship is not secure, negative cycles can begin to dominate the relationship. When I work with couples, I work actively in the moment, helping you move towards a more secure attachment style with your partner and encouraging you to take the risks that you are ready for.
Most couples, by the time they enter into therapy, have become so disconnected that partners are stuck in opposing and polarized roles. Conflicting ideas of who needs to change and how things aren't working mix with hurt and resentment to create a poisonous cocktail that keeps distance the only safe thing to depend on. You really can find the path back to being loving and connected!
I help you navigate an increase in safety and trust, which in turn leads to the
kind of honest, vulnerable, intimate and connected relationship you are capable
of. I see connection as the core and essence of human existence and the thing
we all crave and need for survival, from birth through death. When the
attachment of a primary love relationship is not currently strong, its a set up for
all kinds of triggers, fears, and unmet needs. By addressing the root of the
problem, and not getting caught up in the symptoms (the he said, she said
details) you can finally have the kind of relationship you have always wanted.
The majority of my work is with couples who are parents. Whether you are
newly married, new parents, or separated and wanting to successfully
co-parent or blend families with a new partner, transitions are ripe opportunities
for new, vibrant experiences and growth.